Amazon branded Terminator robots arrived early Friday morning to ensure there are no troubles with their new warehouse construction.
“It was crazy man! I never thought I’d see the day where my city was taken over by robots, but if it’s Amazon, I can’t really complain. Maybe my stuff will get here that much quicker or Sioux Falls will finally get a Whole Foods! There are definitely some pluses that come along with having Amazon come to town! I just don’t see why they have to have Terminators with guns come in and scare everyone,” said one excited Sioux Falls citizen we spoke with.
The Argus Leader posted a story about a huge new business that would bring over 500 jobs and $100 million for the economy on Friday, so naturally we reached out to them about it, but had to cancel the interview after they demanded 99 cents for the interview.
“We will not comment further on the subject until people pay us our dues or you pay 99 cents per interview. We don’t work for chicken feed,” said the statement we received from the Argus Leader.
The Amazon Terminators reached out to us for interview, which was odd, but it’s Amazon.
“We just wanted to say that we accept the warm welcome the Sioux Falls citizens have given us. We’ve spent Bitcoin at your local restaurants and traveled to your beautiful Falls Park. We couldn’t think of a better place to be right now, so from the bottom of our wires, thank you for accepting our kind here,” said one Terminator pointing his machine gun at me while I interviewed it.
If Jeff Bezos reads this, my website is DEFINITELY for sale!
The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White