Sioux Falls residents have officially ranked COVID-19 ahead of Iowan drivers as the most detrimental thing to happen to them in recent memory.

“Iowan drivers usually keep me from going places, but only during certain hours or certain days of the week. This whole coronavirus thing has definitely done more damage to me than any Iowan driver has, which is why I ranked it number one. I don’t forget about the horrors of driving behind Iowans, though, which is why I ranked it at one-and-a-half,” said one Sioux Falls resident we spoke with.

While it’s no surprise that something else went right around Iowan drivers, some citizens believe the lack of Iowan drivers in the area have contributed to some stress relief.

“When I go out to get groceries at the store, I don’t have to worry about getting stuck behind an Iowan driver, so I’m sleeping a little bit better at night now. Not going in to the office early and the morning, then getting stuck behind one of them is the most rage inducing events someone could ever go through. Worse than watching soap operas throughout the day,” said another Sioux Falls resident we spoke with.

Some residents don’t believe COVID-19 should even rank, because it’s not a permanent thing like Iowan drivers.

“Iowans are going to be around these parts for many more years. This whole coronavirus thing isn’t going to last much longer, so I don’t know why people bothered ranking it so high on their list. Iowan drivers are the most detrimental thing to happen to Sioux Falls since we failed to blow up the Zip Feed Mill. That was super embarrassing and should never be forgotten,” said the resident.

What’s your list look like?

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White