The city announced early Monday morning that they would not be repairing large potholes because of a study they read about online stating “potholes make lovely homes for those in need.”

“It’s a growing trend we see all over the United States right now. We’re going to allow potholes around the city to grow in size to see if our homeless population takes to them like they do in bigger cities. The idea has been thrown around in the past, but reading the study online really cemented our feelings about how to approach this whole thing,” said one city councilor we spoke with.

Of course, some basic necessities will be provided, like headphones to address the loud noises of the road above.

“We’re going to be providing the basic necessities, yeah, of course. How can a city not provide basic necessities to their homeless population? Headphones are THE basic necessity nowadays, and they will likely get those as soon as a pothole is chosen for them to live in. City employees will be doing check ups on them periodically to see if the headphones are being utilized properly, as well,” said the city councilor.

Most citizens aren’t completely satisfied with the program, though.

“Headphones as a basic necessity?! What is this…the middle ages? They need stuff like shopping carts and trash bags to cover up with! Putting them in potholes with no covers or storage is absolutely barbaric! I am seriously considering starting a GoFundMe page to pay for their trash bags and shopping carts. I expect a lot from Sioux Falls, and to see our homeless population from California, New York, and Texas be treated like this…just upsetting,” said one local citizen we spoke with.

At least we have a mentor program now!

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White