Crime statistics have been on the rise throughout Sioux Falls, but city council has really focused on trying to fix up the Cleveland Avenue area first and foremost.

“We believe that if we can get map companies to erase the street completely from maps, the crimes happening there will completely vanish too. Other major cities have tried this strategy to no avail, but we believe it can be done in Sioux Falls because of our unique ways of thinking and progression,” said one anonymous city councilor we spoke with.

City councilors believe there is a good chance the strategy works and will allow the city to bring in more businesses and awards for the upcoming holiday season.

“We’re really hoping this happens soon so that we can get to erasing the whole Whittier neighborhood and West 12th Street areas, along with some minor adjustments to downtown. It’s a really bold strategy on our part and we’re really hoping the community backs this effort. Erasing some of these areas on maps will also benefit snow removal efforts during the winter months, as our truck will be free to get areas who don’t commit crimes,” said another city councilor we spoke with.

Erasing some neighborhoods from maps will likely be met with some resistance throughout the community, though.

“They think they can just erase my street from the map and everything will be okay?! How about if I got back in time like Marty McFly and erase the past so they aren’t ever born! Crimes might happen here every other day, but they are the real criminals of Sioux Falls! Stuff happens over on West 12th Street, but we don’t hear them being erased! East side represent!” said one citizen we spoke with who needs to watch Back to the Future again.

We reached out to some map companies on the subject but they have not returned our calls.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White