Optometrists have published research showing Sioux Falls citizens have started regaining their eyesight by constantly watching out for potholes on Sioux Falls streets.

“It’s an amazing thing, honestly! Constantly watching for potholes on the roads have started bringing driver eyesight back from the dead. A lot of people in Sioux Falls wear glasses, but now they’re losing them because they’re so focused on looking for potholes in the distance. It’s what we call the pothole-in-the-distance phenomena,” said one local optometrist we spoke with.

It’s no surprise to the every day citizen this news is coming out, though.

“Well, duh. Have you been down any of the local streets here lately? It’s like watching a bunch of people drunk driving, but everyone knows they’re just trying to avoid potholes. The amount of times I had to get my vehicle in to the shop for repair is ridiculous. Maybe if we hadn’t spent all that useless money on a parking ramp downtown that has been a monumental failure, we could get something to fill these holes up,” said one angry citizen we spoke with.

Potholes are not a new problem in Sioux Falls and politicians believe they’re working diligently to get the problem fixed.

“We’re definitely discouraged that there are so many Facebook posts criticizing the city for not doing anything on the streets, but we’re very busy with other projects at the moment. We just spent a good chunk of money on a simple parking ramp that won’t even be open for another year, and receiving donations from Sanford for the movie theater downtown. Streets are our main priority after everything else,” said one anonymous city official we spoke with.

City officials believe the potholes will be repaired right before they get battered again in winter.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White