The city decided it has had enough with working alongside certain contractors and has put forth plans to redesign the downtown parking ramp.

“We’re going to be taking bids from hotels and various businesses on who would like to be painted on the structure. It’s really going to liven up, not only the structure, but also the downtown business scene. We had thought about painting a giant mural of what a parking ramp is supposed to look like, but we decided we should probably make up some of the wasted citizen tax dollars we threw away trying to push this project through,” said one city councilor we spoke with.

The parking ramp has been a controversial project from the get-go even though 99% of citizens knew it would be a disaster as soon as it was announced.

“When you’re giving money to the same people who legitimately killed someone by not following safety guidelines TAKING DOWN a building, why would you give them money to put a building UP? I’m not even sure these politicians know what the hell they’re doing. They probably believe the citizens won’t notice a huge, ugly building sitting in the heart of downtown. I guess you play stupid games, you get stupid results,” said one citizen we spoke with.

No word on if any businesses have yet to make bids for the painting spaces yet.

“We expect there to be many businesses vouching for those prime spots downtown! We can’t release any figures yet, but we will soon! It’s a very exciting day to be a Sioux Falls citizen! Big things are on the horizon for this building!” said the councilor we spoke with.

Painting of the businesses will continue through the winter, and the ramp won’t even open until NEXT summer.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White