The Sioux Falls Police Department is asking the public to “cool it” after they received a record number of calls regarding missing persons cases over the weekend.

“We’re very aware that local goth people have gone missing during the recent hot, sunny weather. We’re looking into where they might have gone at this time, but we’re receiving a lot more calls than we can handle. We ask the public to stop calling in when their local goth goes missing during hot weather,” said one SFPD representative.

Each summer up to 1,000 goths go missing, but this year’s numbers are reaching into 2,000 so far.

“We believe most of them could be hiding in basements, cellars, or attics where the sun doesn’t shine. Some of them could even be lining up in the shade at the Denny for the Marilyn Manson/Rob Zombie concert already. We have a lot of faith that your local goth will be back as soon as it rains,” said one representative close to the situation.

Hot Topic in the mall has seen a recent increase in business, and electric bill from running the air conditioning overtime to keep goths cooled.

“This time of year is really tough for our people. It’s really hard to stay cool in the summer, but really easy to stay warm in the winter. I don’t think people really understand the art of goth clothing or how we live,” said the Hot Topic manager we spoke with.

If you to see a goth in your immediate area, try playing some Top 40 hits to scare them away.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White