Praise is being poured on the Sioux Falls SculptureWalk this morning, as representatives are touting a huge win for the arts of downtown.

“We were visited overnight by the actual Sasquatch himself! He left a very detailed note about how he is very impressed with the replica that currently sits on our SculptureWalk downtown. How cool is that?!” said one representative we spoke with.

It’s unclear when the Sasquatch visited, but Sioux Falls law enforcement believe they might have caught him on really grainy security cameras.

“We’re pretty sure it’s him. It also could be anyone that’s tall and dressed in a black hunting gear. The grainy footage from the business security camera isn’t able to focus like we want it to. This isn’t a movie when you just double click the screen and everything becomes clear,” said one Sioux Falls Police Department representative we spoke with.

Sasquatch, or sometimes called ‘Bigfoot’, sightings have increased in and around Sioux Falls since the replica went up downtown.

“I’ve seen Bigfoot, and he ain’t look anything like that one downtown. The real one is a dimensional being that comes from the year 4201. He’s making sure the human population evolves into a human-primate being that combines strength, smarts, and is adaptable to the new planetary environments after the big fallout from the icecaps melting,” said one conspiracy theorist we spoke with.

We’re still not sure what that guy was going on about…

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White