A local scientist released a report early Monday citing his own research
that directly points to goose poop providing benefits to the ecology of the bike trail’s natural beauty.

“Goose poop has literally made the bike trail what it is today. A natural
beauty that runs all the way through the city! It’s more of a natural wonder than the Falls!” argued the scientist.

Citizens are very skeptical about the scientist’s research, though.

“Goose crap is every runner and biker’s nightmare when on the trail! That and people who walk super slow in the middle of the path. Those people deserve all the goose poop they can get,” said one local runner we spoke with.

The scientist knows there will be skeptical people about goose poop and all of its naturally wonderous abilities, but in the end, knows he is right.

“I stand by my research and believe that if we had more poop on the trail, this city would be much better off than our current situation. I might go
contribute after this interview,” said the scientist.

No word on former Mayor Huether’s thoughts on this poop situation or how his bowels have been lately.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White