Remember your high school crush? Maybe even a college hook-up you, for some reason, still have on Facebook?

Well they definitely remember you, and they have a great business opportunity for you!

Most messages start out casual, maybe even asking where you’re located now. And then, BOOM, you’re flooded with long ass messages, filled with emojis about how their great business opportunity can help reinvent your life by buying the product they’re pushing.

Most messages look like this: “Have I got a GREAT 🤩🤩🤩 business 🤑🤑🤑🤑 opportunity for you, hun😎😎!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever heard of *product*🤔🤔?!?!?!? It has seriously changed my life💁‍♀️💁‍♀️!!!! You wouldn’t even believe how much money🙌🙌🙌 I’m making being my own boss babe💅💅!!!!”

“We have seen an increase in multi-level marketing schemes lately. We actually had to lay an employee off because she was trying to sell ItWorks wraps to people she was arresting,” said one Sioux Falls Police Department representative.

Sioux Falls Police remind citizens to stay vigilant, as pyramid scheme zombies have infiltrated the Sioux Falls area.

“We’ve gotten reports that most pyramid scheme zombies are approaching people by popping out of bushes or from behind cars. A very smart strategy for police officers to utilize, but not for pyramid scheme zombies,” said the SFPD representative.

Pyramid schemes will suck you dry, and not in the good kind of way.

Where is David Zokaites when you need him?

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White