Over the weekend, a bear fortress was completed by the brown bears of the Great Plains Zoo.

“We have been working on this fort for some time, now. We are ready to defend ourselves from any outside threats that might arise,” said one brown bear.

The fortress is completely surrounded by surveillance cameras, large weapons, and is monitored 24/7 by the head security brown bear.

“We’ve already had some attempted to break into the fortress by humans. That threat was extinguished when one of our brown bears politely asked the human where his identification badge was. The human ran very quickly like he realized he was not supposed to be in the fortress,” said the head security bear.

The brown bears are said to be settling in nicely to their new fortress, which includes Wi-Fi for the bears to utilize at slow times of the day.

“Yes, we have Wi-Fi. Our fortress is the top of the line kind of fort. This isn’t some crappy cage that we built,” said the head building bear.

Fortress officials will arrest anyone, without question, that has trespassed on fortress grounds.

The Great Plains Zoo is open from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday and from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White