In an effort to deal with the Emerald Ash Borer insect that has found its way to South Dakota for the first time, the Sioux Falls Police Department has put in a large order of assault rifles to deal with them.

“They came to the wrong neighborhood. We are going to have our ghost unit sneak up on the insect, and then goodbye insect!” said one representative from the Sioux Falls Police Department.

It’s a bold strategy that citizens are closely monitoring.

“I’m actually really stoked to see how it works. Our police department usually just tries to trick people into speeding tickets, not being Rambo,” said one excited citizen.

The invasive Emerald Ash Borer is an invasive insect that has killed more than 60 million ash trees all over the United States.

“The line stops here! My assault rifle is ready to take these mother****ers out. No one touches my ash tree,” said one assault rifle wielding citizen we cautiously spoke with.

Sioux Falls is also dealing with the invasive Orange Cone invasive species.

“We know a lot of people are concerned about the Orange Cone, but this Emerald Ash Borer can do just as much damage,” said the SFPD representative.

South Dakota is the 33rd state confirmed to have Emerald Ash Borers.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White