The Sioux Falls Headliner sent an undercover reporter to act as a homeless bird lady on the Sioux Falls bike trails, and what she found out might scare citizens of this great city.

“It’s incredible, the mentality of the east side pigeon versus the west side pigeon. They look almost identical, but their brains are far different from each other,” said the reporter.

The west side pigeon’s brain is more fixated on a crowded living, violent flying, “other side of the tracks” mentality, whereas the east side pigeon’s brain shows more signs of spacious living, friendly flying, “kicked back” attitude.

Our reporter’s notes also show a lot more activity around public parks, and large buildings, which is not a new finding for the Sioux Falls Police Department.

“That’s not a new finding,” says a Sioux Falls Police Department official.

After our reporter came back with her findings, we worked very closely with the SFPD only to find they already had most of these findings.

It’s also no surprise that the one thing the pigeons can agree on, is that the Iowa pigeon is the worst of both worlds.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White