In a memo sent out to media outlets this morning, officials from a local university claim they will be changing their name again in an effort to remind citizens they still exist and to attract the top high schoolers in the country.

The school plans on changing their name to, “Please Come Here University” said one official we spoke with.

“It’s just a big change from what our name used to be. We really think this will encourage high school kids in the country to really take a look at our fine campus and what we have to offer,” said an official close to the situation.

The university also claims there will be other small perks for high school kids coming to the university.

“We’re going to be offering free Fortnite to incoming students. They will have to bring their own Gameboys, but Fortnite will be free for them! Big steps!” said the local university official.

We asked area citizens about how the name change will affect them.

“I run a small lemonade stand outside the university, and I saw my sales double when they changed their name a couple years ago. A lot of people still forget they’re here, though,” said one girl who owns and operates a lemonade stand.

“Wait, that’s still a thing?” said another citizen.

The university will change their name at the start of the new school year.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White