In a stunning move, Sioux Falls has renamed Lake Lorraine to Lorraine Ocean and will start promoting itself as the newest coastal city in the world.

“We are so impressed with just how quickly we could do this. It was almost an overnight transition into becoming a coastal city!” said Mayor Mike Huether.

Hundreds of new retailers have contacted the city about moving to the newest ports being built at Lorraine Ocean.

“Our business definitely wants to go to Sioux Falls. How can you not want to? It’s a booming coastal city!” said one retailer we reached out to.

Beachfront realty will also lead the Lorraine Ocean boom.

“Adding beachfront properties to our arsenal will really increase our profits! It’s an exciting time for Sioux Falls,” said one realtor.

Lifeguards have also been employed to look after beach-goers.

“It’s just a dream come true to become a life guard at the beach. I watched a lot of Baywatch when I was growing up,” said one lifeguard.

City officials are also showing interest in producing a Sioux Falls based beach show similar to Baywatch, but this should be treated as just a rumor at this point in time.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White