Sioux Falls scientists announced today that they will be resurrecting Ancient Roman architects to help smooth over city roads that have been neglected for far too long.

It’s not a surprising move for the scientists after a large group returned home from an Italian science forum last week.

“We learned a lot while we were there. The ancient roads the Romans built still stand today,” said one Sioux Falls scientist.

All of the current Mayoral Candidates seemed to be behind the move, as well.

“When roads that have been around for more than 2000 years, I think they’re doing something right,” said Mayoral Candidate Goose.

It’s also unclear how long the scientists will keep the ancient Romans architects around. Many citizens believe they could stick around and repair other things too.

“I mean, why not?” said one genius citizen we spoke with.

Romans will be protected from deportation until we have no more use for them.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White