Days after local comedians took the stage to roast South Dakota, the state turned around and hosted its own event where the roasters became the roastees.

Up first, a roast of Luke Johnson:

“Luke Johnson recently joked about me being a lot like Texas, only less loud and less proud. Which would pretty much sum up his sex life. Less Loud. Less Proud. Luke Johnson.”

Second, we have Mason Maxwell:

“Mason is a newcomer to comedy, so I’ll go easy on him since he’s also a newcomer to English.”

The next roast is of Skyler Bolks:

“The poodle doppelganger made a joke about how my citizens get drunk in corn fields and play with guns. Obviously whenever Skyler is invited to parties, he is made the lookout.”

John Small is up next:

“John’s joke consisted of another ‘Great Faces, Great Places’ joke, which by the end of the show was overdone like the roast dinner John actually showed up for.”

And lastly the roast of Nathan Hults:

“While Nathan might look like the lovechild of Louis CK and a keg of beer, Nathan is a pretty funny guy. His jokes average about 5 seconds, which is exactly the time he spends around women before they start laughing at him.”

South Dakota received a standing ovation after the last joke of the night and is contemplating a South Dakota tour of comedy.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White