With blistering cold temperatures hovering over the Sioux Falls region, the Sioux Falls Police Department is offering incentives to criminals who wait to commit crimes until temperatures go above 35F.

Criminals usually do not wait until warmer weather to commit crimes, but recently the SFPD has offered to drop 1-2 charges if the criminal waits until warmer temperatures arrive.

“I really don’t like investigating crimes in -200F weather.” said one police officer we spoke with.

“Well, it’s hard out there for our guys… you know? We, um. Don’t like, uh, investigating in the cold.” said SFPD spokesman Sam Clemens.

“We’re very proud that the temperatures finally hit 0 again. It just shows the amount of growth we can expect in our great city’s future.” said Mayor Mike Huether.

With the recent sunshine that has hit Sioux Falls and brought the temperature above 0, some citizens have taken the phrase, “Suns out, guns out” too literally. SFPD reminds people to not take these sayings too literally.

Sioux Falls is expected to reach 35F early next week.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White