Sioux Falls City Council proposed a small, useless gate on Tuesday night to keep citizens safe from raging waters of Falls Park, and that could be good news for a failing gate company!

“We specialize in tiny gates that people can unlock easily, or just walk
around. These types of gates were really big decades ago, but we’ve seen
business drop steadily since 1959. This proposal of a small, useless gate
would really help us survive! It’s one that we’re really gunning for,” said
the CEO of the gate company.

City councilors definitely believe the small, useless gate will for sure
stop people from getting close to the falls.

“This gate in the middle of path will increase the safety of people visiting the falls who might not know the dangers of raging water over rocks. It’s really something you need to warn people about. Like how dangerous a bear is. How are we supposed to know that bears are dangerous without a sign or a gate?” said one city councilor.

Citizens are still unsure exactly how many tax dollars will be used to install this gate, as well.

“City council is using our tax dollars for this gate and I won’t even get to use it. It’s not very transparent of them, and definitely not why I voted them into office. My tax dollars should be going to mixed-use building for hotels and stuff like that!” said one citizen we spoke with.

We’re all hoping the small useless gate business lands the large project at Falls Park.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White