Cranes have invaded the downtown Sioux Falls skyline…if you could call it a skyline.

“We’re so excited to have our first crane! Sioux Falls is really starting to feel like a big city, and we’re definitely exploring possibilities of putting more cranes up to garner more tourism to our downtown shops and restaurants!” said one city representative.

The city assures citizens no actual construction work will be done by the cranes, but they will be using tax dollars as a way to attract more tourists in the stupidest way possible.

“It’s something we’re always looking at. Attracting tourists to the downtown area, and then pointing them to check out our premium fencing at Falls Park. What better way to see the city than cranes and fencing?” said another city representative we spoke with.

It remains unknown where the cranes will sit, but citizens are guessing that they will be on public roadways.

“I’m still baffled as to how public roads are closed due to private construction projects. I guess as long as the city is getting paid, they don’t mind,” said one local citizen we spoke with.

The Sioux Falls Canaries have also looked into changing their name to The Sioux Falls Cranes to boost attendance figures for next season.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White