The only “fore” Sanford International golfers are looking for is in the weather FOREcast. Okay, so that was a bad dad joke, but it was reported early Thursday morning that Sanford International organizers have begun to bribe local meteorologists to stop forecasting rain so that their event could continue as planned.

“It’s a literal lake out there. John Daly is not going to be a happy camper if he has to golf out of a boat! We brought all these old time, now B-rate golfers in here to show that Sanford is totally hip and cool. Now we’re just embarrassed and out millions of dollars,” said one Sanford International representative we spoke with.

With the rains not letting up any time soon, it looks as though the bribes to meteorologists have not worked.

“I’m not quite sure they [Sanford International] realize how weather works. We just guess at stuff and hope it comes true. We don’t actually control the weather, contrary to popular belief,” said one local meteorologist.

With some parts of Sioux Falls pushing 3-5 inches of rain, it’s very clear that the Sanford International parade was rained on.

“Disappointed John Daly did not get to golf at our awesome course. John Daly is probably not very happy, either,” said the representative.

Sorry, John Daly. Maybe next year.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White