Missing public art has become a source of public alarm.
The installations from downtown Sioux Falls’ beloved SculptureWalk vanished recently, leading many to believe the artworks somehow acquired sentience and mobility.
“At this time, we’re considering several possible scenarios to account for the missing sculptures,” said a representative from Downtown Sioux Falls. “A child’s wish, a full moon, witchcraft – there are quite a few things that might have caused these statues to come to life.”
Officials state that community safety continues to be top priority as the search for the sculptures is underway.
Some pieces depicted potentially dangerous predators, including a bison, a panther, a bear, a bull, and several otters.
Additionally, one sculpture, “When Pigs Fly the Wright Way,” featured a pig flying an airplane. The now-animated animal is not licensed to operate a private aircraft.
Sioux Falls’ Joe Foss Field did not respond to a request for commentary on the logistical and safety issues this might create in regional airspace.
“There’s a lot we don’t know,” said an anonymous concerned citizen smoking outside of Lucky’s. “Are they all meeting somewhere planning to come after us? Or is it a ‘Toy Story’ situation where they all fall over and pretend they’re not alive when a person is around?”
Officials maintain willingness to negotiate with the sculptures, hoping the pieces with human likeness possess some capacity for speech. Law enforcement released the following statement: “If any of the sculptures are listening, we’re ready to talk. We just want to keep folks safe.”
The Sioux Falls Headliner