It’s that time of year when the Girl Scouts start using their thug-like selling tactics against the good people of Sioux Falls.
This year the gang violence of the Girl Scouts has caught the attention of local government, though.
“These tactics of standing outside my gym and holding the cookies against the window when I run on the treadmill have to stop. It’s killing me,” said a teary-eyed Mayor Mike Huether.
The Girl Scouts have often been seen cornering local citizens into buying their famous cookies outside local gyms, supermarkets, and even sometimes breaking into houses just to get that extra sale or two.
“We do what we can,” said a local Girl Scouts representative.
Girl Scouts out of uniform keep communications going in person by flipping the “GSB” hand sign, which stands for, “Girl Scouts, Bitch.”
Citizens are urged to stay away from these gang members, as they can sometimes be violent in nature.
“We’ve been getting multiple reports of people smelling like Thin Mints and Samoas for some time now. We’re looking into what tactics were used against these citizens,” said one Sioux Falls Police Department representative.
Sioux Falls hopes to end this violence as swiftly as possible.
The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White