It was announced Thursday morning, that T. Diddy Sanford would be donating a large sum of money to a local satire website in exchange for changing the name to The Sanford Headliner.

The website will not only satirize past, present, and future endeavors of Sanford, but will also satirize competition that is seen fit by local Sanford management.

Sanford management immediately wanted the new website to write a satire piece about how competitor’s signs are not as big as Sanford signs, but was later scrapped in favor of other ideas.

“We feel very confident about how this endeavor will go and we cannot wait to start getting the word out about it,” said one Sanford spokesperson.

It’s still unclear how Sanford will monetize the website, but management has assigned their top employees to explore their options.

“We’re really thinking something along the lines of charging per article read by viewers,” said another spokesperson.

Sanford has, and will always be a non-profit entity.

The Sanford Headliner
Adam K. White