The unemployed crash test dummy finally got his revenge on the business that fired him back in 2015.

After years of brooding, former head dummy of Billion decided to take matters into his own hands and go out doing what he loved. Crashing into non-moving objects.

He was released from the hospital earlier today with no injuries. The airbags successfully deployed in his car upon crash.

“Yesterday’s crash was no accident. I wanted revenge on that stupid building.” said the dummy.

The move from crash dummy to computer simulation has put most crash dummies out of work around the globe, but some small facilities still employ their services.

“We were very sad to release the dummy from his duties years ago. He was a great dummy.” said a Billion representative we spoke with.

There are currently around 12,000 unemployed crash test dummies in the world.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White